Withdrawal.

After weeks of preparation and 48 hours without a smoke, my body is beginning to suspect that something is up. Toothpicks can't fool my nicotine deprived blood. Oxygen levels are reaching 18 year highs in my brain, and it turns out that nausea, headaches, and tar coughs are on deck for the next few.
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I will write something notable in a few days when my head is not pounding quite so much. On the bright side, I smelled a cigarette earlier it didn't tempt me even a little bit.

UPDATE (03/01/2012): It has been four and a half weeks since I stopped smoking.
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_ I wake up short of breath every now and then, but I am feeling good. I am eating better and exercising on a regular basis. I eat much less meat. I feel good about that. I was thinking about not eating mammals... I read an article about dolphins being as intelligent as humans and communicating, caring, and living in similar ways. I started thinking about the idea that perhaps mammals are a good place to draw a line. Not sure if I really think that though...  I walk a lot. I feel much better now than I did two months ago or three weeks ago.

I've been thinking... It is ridiculous to tell addicts that even after they quit they will be a former smoker (or former whatever). I don't agree. I am working to be a non-smoker. If I lived my life believing that I was always on the edge of smoking and always in danger of falling off the wagon, I would just jump off. Fuck that. If I am going to live healthy and feel good, I am not going to dwell on an addiction that I had. I am fighting to beat it, not keep it at bay. I think that people who tell you that you are always an addict are trying to keep you in a caste. I don't buy that.

It has been hard to focus on writing these days. Maybe it has to do with the smoking. Maybe not. I am pushing myself back into it.

UPDATE (01/29/2013): It's been a year. I feel good.


UPDATE (01/29/2014): It's now been two years. Awesome. 


UPDATE (01/30/2015): 3 years now. All is normal. I don't smoke and I feel good.